An accident really uncanny
Occured to my elderly Granny;
She sat down on a chair
While her false teeth lay there,
And bit herself right in the fanny.
There was a plumb babe from Bryn Mawr,
Who was pinched by her low strapless bra;
So she loosened on wire,
-Whereupon the entire
Dress fell, and left her quite raw.
As a beauty, I am not a star;
There are others more handsome by far;
But my face, I don't mind it,
For I am behind it:
It's the people in front get the jar.
God's plan made a hopeful beginning
But man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the story
Will end in God's glory;
But, at present, the other side's winning.
Every time lady Lowbodice swoons,
Her bubbies pop out like balloons;
But her butler stands by
With hauteur in his eye,
And lifts them back in with warm spoons.
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